Helping the Poor

Recently, I blogged about how many of the "poor" in the United States are not really poor. While this is true, there are people in the U.S. who are really poor and live in crime infested, destitute neighborhoods. Even though the Bible commands Christians to help the poor, many Christians and churches ignore this responsibility. Instead, they have turned the responsibility over to the government. Such inaction by Christians and takeover by the government has not truly helped the poor, but has made many Christians spiritually poor.

While there is no single answer to problems involving the poor, one solution is for Christians to be active in helping the truly poor. One such couple is Bill and Shannon Merck, who are members of Immanuel Baptist Church in Maple Shade, New Jersey. Seeing Camden, one of the poorest communities in the country, only a few miles from their church, they felt a need to provide real help to truly poor people. For the second year in a row, they organized a Christmas concert to raise funds. The concert took place at their church and involved members of their church, as well as talent from the area. They even had a band from New York City. At the end, Shannon sang and shared her heart. Her passion engulfed the auditorium. She explained the need and how they desired to help. Last year, they raised $1,500.00 and gave coats, gloves, books, and toys to needy children. This year, they identified over twenty children, twelve of whom are currently homeless, to help. These are people who truly need help. Again, they will provide coats, gloves, books, and toys. In addition, they identified a center that provides after school care for poor children. They will assist this center and the center helps children with physical needs and shares the gospel with them. If there is more money, they have identified other needy children through DYFS, whom they will help.
Bill and Shannon are a remarkable couple who are making a difference in the lives of people. They see a need and are acting. They are not living in their own material filled bubble ignoring those around them. They are not being judgmental. They are not waiting for the government or someone else to help. They are part of the solution. For that, I want to applaud them, am glad that we could provide some help, and that my children could be part of the benefit concert.

PS - if you are interested in contributing, let me know and I will get you in contact with Bill and Shannon.

Dave Ramsey's Time Management Tips from EntreLeader

I have been reading Dave Ramsey's new book, EntreLeader. In chapter 3, he gives some good tips about time management. For example he relates some tips from Stephen Covey about evaluating whether tasks are urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and not urgent and not important. He also talks about using a "To Do" list, using time productively rather then wasting it, having productive meetings, applying technology productively, and using personnel to make you more productive.

While these tips are good, I believe they need to be kept in balance. For example, he spends a great deal of time warning about personnel who waste other people's time by talking. I understand and agree with him that we need to be careful about casual conversation taking away from productivity. But, I think he goes overboard. Maybe I am reading him wrong, but it appears that unless the conversation is important to his business, he will not have the conversation and does not want other employees having such conversation.

Some of those conversations may not be directly related to business, but they may be important to building relationships in the workplace that ultimately make people more productive. More importantly, they may also be opportunities to build into the life of another person. Perhaps, you can use those conversations to encourge someone, train them, or provide biblical wisdom. Not all of these conversations are a waste of time. God puts more value on relationships and people than business productivity.

Like I said, we need a balance. We, and others in our business, should not expend an inordinate amount of time in non-business related conversation. A business must be productive in order to earn the money needed to stay in business and pay its employees. But, at the same time, we must value employees over productivity. We should not neglect people for the sake of productivity. Perhaps, a reasonable balance is bugeting casual conversation into our work day. This way, we get the benefits of casual conversation without it taking over the day.

Who Are The Poor?

Poor is a relative term. Every year, our government defines the poor according to the income they make. However, the poor in the United States would be rich in many countries. So, who exactly who are the poor? According to Walter Williams . . .

* 80% have air conditioning,

* nearly 75% have a car or truck and 31% have two vehicles,

* 67% have cable or satellite tv,

* 50% have one or more computers,

* 42% own their own homes,

* 96% said there children are never hungry due to a lack of money to buy food.

Compared to much of the world, these people are not poor. Contrast the poor in the U.S. with other countries like the Domincan Republic. Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols grew up in the Domincan Republic and never considered himself poor because he had one meal to eat a day, while others had none.

Pop Culture Invasion

Pop culture can invade your home very quickly. It does not take much for a song, television show, news story, or movie to invade a home, even when you try to limit such influences. I was reminded of this when my seven year old daughter and I made a recent trip to BJs.

As a family, we do not generally listen to pop music. Most of it fails to meet the standard set forth in Phillipians 4:8, which instructs us to think about things that are true, honorable, pure, etc. So, I was shocked when, while checking out at BJs, my daughter asked, "Dad, do you hear that song?" I had heard the song, but it was one that I did not expect her to know. Katy Perry's "Firework" was playing. We do not listen to Katy Perry and I really wondered how she knew the song. "It is the song from 'Soul Surfer'" she proudly exclaimed.

I know she has seen the movie a few times and it is one of her favorite movies. However, she does not know the song from the movie. The song is not in the movie. From what I can tell, she heard part of the song one time - only one time. Our church was showing the movie. In order to promote it, they showed the trailer, which plays part of the song. She heard part of the song during a trailer that she only saw one time. Yet, when she heard the song in a store, she recognized it immediately.

This reminded me of how quickly pop culture, and its messages, can invade our homes. Fortunately, this song is rather benign and I do not care that she recognized it. But, how many other songs will she recognize and what other messages will be conveyed? What if it was one of Kay Perry's other songs?

Cardinal Fan

I was born and lived the first 10 1/2 years of my life in an area that loves baseball. But the area loves two teams. When you are born in Decatur, Illinois, you have two choices; you can love the Cardinals or the Cubs. I am not really sure how people choose the team they love. If it was really a rational choice, I don't know why anyone would choose the Cubs. They haven't won a World Series in forever. Generally, they are irrelevant. Why would anyone choose the Cubs when they can be a Cardinal fan. As of today, the Cardinals have won the National League a record 18 times, have won the World Series 10 times (the most for any NL team), and are working on their 11th World Series win.

There are many towns like Decatur, where the population is divided between Cardinal and Cub fans. Buzz Bissinger, in "Three Nights in August", described the Cardinal/Cub rivalry and explained that, for many years, the Cardinals and Cubs were the two teams farthest west and they had strong radio signals. So, most people in the midwest became fans of these teams. When he listed a town as having a typical Cardinal/Cub division, he listed Decatur, Illinois.

While I don't know how people choose between the Cardinals and Cubs, I know that I am a Cardinal fan, not by choice, but by birthright, or genetics, or some similar reason. My father was (and still is) a Cardinal fan. My grandparents were Cardinal fans. So, I became a Cardinal fan. Being a good parent, I have made sure that my children are Cardinal fans, even though they live in a Philadelphia suburb. I am even teaching my foster children to root for the Cardinals.

Some of my earliest memories are going to the grandparent's house on Sunday afternoons and watching the Cardinals on t.v. Long before cable t.v. and long before every game was broadcast, Sundays were usually the only days that we could watch the Cardinals. My grandmother was a big Cardinal fan and always had the game on.

Since t.v. was rare, I have many memories of listening to the Cardinals on the radio. Jack Buck is a legendary broadcaster and I listened to him for many years. As a teenager, I lived near Philadelphia, where it was hard to follow the Cardinals (again, before cable t.v. and the internet). I remember lying in bed with a radio tuned to KMOX out of St. Louis. The signal was weak and faded in and out, but at night, if I listened closely, I could still hear Jack Buck and Mike Shannon describing the game.

The first MLB game I ever attended was a Cardinal game in St. Louis. I was nine or ten years old. We took a friend of mine and made a Sunday trip to St. Louis. I remember entering the city on an Interstate and being amazed at the number and size of large highway ramps and bridges entering the city. This was the first time I had ever been to a large city. I was in awe. Going into the stadium was amazing. It was so large. How could anyone hit a ball that far? The crowd was huge. I had never seen so many people before. It was jacket day and I loved the red plastic jacket that I was given. The Cardinals were playing the Pirates. Ted Simmons hit a home run to right-center field and the Cardinals won.

1982 was a fun year because I lived near Philadelphia and the Cardinals and Phillies were battling for the NL East title. In September, my Dad got tickets for us to go to a game. The Phillie Fanatic was making fun of the Cardinals and Lonnie Smith, in particular. Lonnie Smith, the Cardinal left fielder, used to play for the Phillies, was fast, stole a lot of bases, but had a habit of tripping over his own feet. During warm-ups, the Phanatic was running around in front of him and kept falling down. At one point, the Phanatic was running across the field and Lonnie Smith ran up behind him, dove at him, and tackled him at his ankles. The crowd booed loudly. The Phanatic actually sprained his ankle during the mishap. Steve Carlton pitched for the Phillies and they won the game. I believe this put them 1/2 a game ahead of the Cardinals for first place. If my memory is correct, Carlton became the all time leader in career strikeouts during the game. I think the Cardinals won the next two games and took first place. The Cardinals won the East that year. They played the Braves in the NLCS and won. Then, they played the Brewers and won the World Series in 7 games. I bought a World Series coffee cup that has the scores of each playoff game. I still use the cup today.

I enjoy the great history and tradition of the Cardinals. I don't remember the '60s, but in the time that I remember, the Cardinals have been in the World Series 6 times. I loved the Whitey Herzog Cardinals. It always felt like they were the underdogs because they had no power. Instead, they won games by playing to the strength of their ballpark; it was large and had fast astroturf, so the Cardinals had fast players who hit the ball in the gaps for doubles and triples and they stole a lot of bases. It was very exciting baseball. In the 1982 World Series, they had two players score on one sacrifice fly; that is a lot of speed. They won the World Series in 1982, but lost in 1985 and 1987. Then they hit a dry spell until they hired Tony LaRussa. In 16 years as manager, they have made the playoffs 9 times. They had great teams in 2004 and 2005, winning 205 regular season games, but lost the 2004 World Series and losing in the 2005 NLCS. The 2006 regular season was very disappointing. After two 100 win seasons, the 2006 Cardinals only won 83 games, but still won the division. Without high expectations, the team won the World Series for the 1oth time. Now, they are ahead 2-1 in the 2011 World Series.

I have great memories of their great players like Lou Brock, Keith Hernandez, Bob Forsch, Ted Simmons, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee. I have grown up hearing about other great players like Stan Musial, Bob Gibson, and others. It is a great tradition to have. Now, new players are making memories for my children and me. Carpenter leading the pitching staff during the LaRussa years. Big Mac hitting many home runs (we did not know they were tainted then). Adam Wainwright, as a rookie, closing out the 2006 World Series. And, Albert Pujols hitting the ball like crazy.

I enjoy these memories and hope to have many more. In a few days, I hope to update this post by saying the Cardinals have won their 11th World Series. Now, I need to go so that I can watch game 4. When the game is over, I hope I hear the words, "That's a winner" in my head.

S'more Cupcakes

With 7 children, it is easy for my kids to feel lost in the crowd. It is hard for them to feel like individuals. Even if I am trying to do something with one child, like going to a soccer game, other children are inevitably tagging along because it is difficult to leave 6 other children behind for someone else to watch.

In order to combat the feeling of being lost in a crowd, I try to make an effort to do things with an individual child. I probably should try to do more with my children on an individual basis, but that is hard. In the past few months, I went camping with Matthew, took a 23 mile bike ride with Laura, and took Aly to the Philadelphia Art Museum.

Saturday was Maddie's turn. I told her that we were going to do something special, but I did not tell her what we were doing. I said we had to go to Shop Rite. Once there, I told her we were going to make cupcakes. She was very excited. First, we started by choosing the cake batter. We chose chocolate. Is there really any other choice? I wanted to do something fancy on top, rather that the usual, plain icing. Maddie was having trouble catching my vision. She seemed happy with plain pink icing and sprinkles. I wanted more. I found some chocolate icing that had a picture of s'more cupcakes. They had chocolate icing topped with marshmallows and graham cracker. After seeing the picture, Maddie caught the vision; we were making s'more cupcakes.

Since this was her project, I tried to let her do as much as possible. She poured the powder in the bowl. She added water, oil, and three eggs. She beat them with the mixer. I poured them in the pan and put them in the oven. A little while later, they were baked, cooled, and ready for icing. We took turns putting on the icing, marshmallows, and graham cracker. Then, the best part - we ate. It seems that everyone loved them. There were eaten in no time.

Maddie felt very special and enjoyed her time with Dad. Now, I need to find time to paint her nails.

A Key to Conflict Resolution

Throughout the years, I have seen, and been a part of, a great deal of conflict. As an attorney, I deal with conflict on a daily basis. While this conflict takes many forms, I deal with marital conflict more than anything. When I am involved, the conflict usually has escalated to the point that at least one of the parties’ wants a divorce. As a deacon for many years, I have dealt with a lot of church conflict.

Whenever people are around other people, there is bound to be conflict. We are all sinners. We are selfish. Everyone has different wants and desires. Most conflict is generally resolved. People resolve their differences and move on. Often, relationships are stronger because of the conflict. Unfortunately, some conflict is so severe that it is never resolved and destroys relationships. With such conflict, marriages are torn apart and churches are divided.

When such severe conflict exists, I have noticed that one party usually believes the other party has evil motives. They believe the person is “out to get them” or wants to destroy them. In a church context, they believe the other person is trying to take over the church or take away someone’s rights. Such conflict is extremely difficult to resolve because the parties do not trust each other. They assume the worst in the other person. They will not give the benefit of the doubt to the other person.

On the other hand, when people are able to resolve conflict, they usually give the benefit of the doubt to the other person. They acknowledge that there is a conflict but believe the other person has a good heart. They trust that the other person has good motives; they are just misguided at that moment.

My observations were recently confirmed. In an article on Townhall.com, Rebecca Haglin wrote that two marriage-killing habits are criticism and pessimism. She refers to a study that found “the happiest marriages reflect an overall positive attitude about the goodness of the other person and the marriage itself – even as the couple works to resolve conflicts.” (Emphasis added). Haglin continued, “[N]ewlyweds who maintained an idealized view of the other person, putting the best gloss on their attributes and behavior, were happier after three years than less idealistic couples.” (Emphasis added). According to psychologist Garth Fletcher, “Positive biases and happiness seem to push each other along.” Hagelin concludes, “[T]hose who persist in presuming the best about their spouse, and who maintain a forgiving attitude and optimism about the future relationship, actually create a better marriage for themselves.” (Emphasis added).

For a happier marriage, we should assume our spouse has a good heart. Give them the benefit of the doubt. In all conflict, presume there is good in the other person. Do not assume the other person has evil motives or is out to get you. By making this fundamental change in our thinking, we can resolve conflict and have happier marriages.