Cardinal Fan

I was born and lived the first 10 1/2 years of my life in an area that loves baseball. But the area loves two teams. When you are born in Decatur, Illinois, you have two choices; you can love the Cardinals or the Cubs. I am not really sure how people choose the team they love. If it was really a rational choice, I don't know why anyone would choose the Cubs. They haven't won a World Series in forever. Generally, they are irrelevant. Why would anyone choose the Cubs when they can be a Cardinal fan. As of today, the Cardinals have won the National League a record 18 times, have won the World Series 10 times (the most for any NL team), and are working on their 11th World Series win.

There are many towns like Decatur, where the population is divided between Cardinal and Cub fans. Buzz Bissinger, in "Three Nights in August", described the Cardinal/Cub rivalry and explained that, for many years, the Cardinals and Cubs were the two teams farthest west and they had strong radio signals. So, most people in the midwest became fans of these teams. When he listed a town as having a typical Cardinal/Cub division, he listed Decatur, Illinois.

While I don't know how people choose between the Cardinals and Cubs, I know that I am a Cardinal fan, not by choice, but by birthright, or genetics, or some similar reason. My father was (and still is) a Cardinal fan. My grandparents were Cardinal fans. So, I became a Cardinal fan. Being a good parent, I have made sure that my children are Cardinal fans, even though they live in a Philadelphia suburb. I am even teaching my foster children to root for the Cardinals.

Some of my earliest memories are going to the grandparent's house on Sunday afternoons and watching the Cardinals on t.v. Long before cable t.v. and long before every game was broadcast, Sundays were usually the only days that we could watch the Cardinals. My grandmother was a big Cardinal fan and always had the game on.

Since t.v. was rare, I have many memories of listening to the Cardinals on the radio. Jack Buck is a legendary broadcaster and I listened to him for many years. As a teenager, I lived near Philadelphia, where it was hard to follow the Cardinals (again, before cable t.v. and the internet). I remember lying in bed with a radio tuned to KMOX out of St. Louis. The signal was weak and faded in and out, but at night, if I listened closely, I could still hear Jack Buck and Mike Shannon describing the game.

The first MLB game I ever attended was a Cardinal game in St. Louis. I was nine or ten years old. We took a friend of mine and made a Sunday trip to St. Louis. I remember entering the city on an Interstate and being amazed at the number and size of large highway ramps and bridges entering the city. This was the first time I had ever been to a large city. I was in awe. Going into the stadium was amazing. It was so large. How could anyone hit a ball that far? The crowd was huge. I had never seen so many people before. It was jacket day and I loved the red plastic jacket that I was given. The Cardinals were playing the Pirates. Ted Simmons hit a home run to right-center field and the Cardinals won.

1982 was a fun year because I lived near Philadelphia and the Cardinals and Phillies were battling for the NL East title. In September, my Dad got tickets for us to go to a game. The Phillie Fanatic was making fun of the Cardinals and Lonnie Smith, in particular. Lonnie Smith, the Cardinal left fielder, used to play for the Phillies, was fast, stole a lot of bases, but had a habit of tripping over his own feet. During warm-ups, the Phanatic was running around in front of him and kept falling down. At one point, the Phanatic was running across the field and Lonnie Smith ran up behind him, dove at him, and tackled him at his ankles. The crowd booed loudly. The Phanatic actually sprained his ankle during the mishap. Steve Carlton pitched for the Phillies and they won the game. I believe this put them 1/2 a game ahead of the Cardinals for first place. If my memory is correct, Carlton became the all time leader in career strikeouts during the game. I think the Cardinals won the next two games and took first place. The Cardinals won the East that year. They played the Braves in the NLCS and won. Then, they played the Brewers and won the World Series in 7 games. I bought a World Series coffee cup that has the scores of each playoff game. I still use the cup today.

I enjoy the great history and tradition of the Cardinals. I don't remember the '60s, but in the time that I remember, the Cardinals have been in the World Series 6 times. I loved the Whitey Herzog Cardinals. It always felt like they were the underdogs because they had no power. Instead, they won games by playing to the strength of their ballpark; it was large and had fast astroturf, so the Cardinals had fast players who hit the ball in the gaps for doubles and triples and they stole a lot of bases. It was very exciting baseball. In the 1982 World Series, they had two players score on one sacrifice fly; that is a lot of speed. They won the World Series in 1982, but lost in 1985 and 1987. Then they hit a dry spell until they hired Tony LaRussa. In 16 years as manager, they have made the playoffs 9 times. They had great teams in 2004 and 2005, winning 205 regular season games, but lost the 2004 World Series and losing in the 2005 NLCS. The 2006 regular season was very disappointing. After two 100 win seasons, the 2006 Cardinals only won 83 games, but still won the division. Without high expectations, the team won the World Series for the 1oth time. Now, they are ahead 2-1 in the 2011 World Series.

I have great memories of their great players like Lou Brock, Keith Hernandez, Bob Forsch, Ted Simmons, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee. I have grown up hearing about other great players like Stan Musial, Bob Gibson, and others. It is a great tradition to have. Now, new players are making memories for my children and me. Carpenter leading the pitching staff during the LaRussa years. Big Mac hitting many home runs (we did not know they were tainted then). Adam Wainwright, as a rookie, closing out the 2006 World Series. And, Albert Pujols hitting the ball like crazy.

I enjoy these memories and hope to have many more. In a few days, I hope to update this post by saying the Cardinals have won their 11th World Series. Now, I need to go so that I can watch game 4. When the game is over, I hope I hear the words, "That's a winner" in my head.

S'more Cupcakes

With 7 children, it is easy for my kids to feel lost in the crowd. It is hard for them to feel like individuals. Even if I am trying to do something with one child, like going to a soccer game, other children are inevitably tagging along because it is difficult to leave 6 other children behind for someone else to watch.

In order to combat the feeling of being lost in a crowd, I try to make an effort to do things with an individual child. I probably should try to do more with my children on an individual basis, but that is hard. In the past few months, I went camping with Matthew, took a 23 mile bike ride with Laura, and took Aly to the Philadelphia Art Museum.

Saturday was Maddie's turn. I told her that we were going to do something special, but I did not tell her what we were doing. I said we had to go to Shop Rite. Once there, I told her we were going to make cupcakes. She was very excited. First, we started by choosing the cake batter. We chose chocolate. Is there really any other choice? I wanted to do something fancy on top, rather that the usual, plain icing. Maddie was having trouble catching my vision. She seemed happy with plain pink icing and sprinkles. I wanted more. I found some chocolate icing that had a picture of s'more cupcakes. They had chocolate icing topped with marshmallows and graham cracker. After seeing the picture, Maddie caught the vision; we were making s'more cupcakes.

Since this was her project, I tried to let her do as much as possible. She poured the powder in the bowl. She added water, oil, and three eggs. She beat them with the mixer. I poured them in the pan and put them in the oven. A little while later, they were baked, cooled, and ready for icing. We took turns putting on the icing, marshmallows, and graham cracker. Then, the best part - we ate. It seems that everyone loved them. There were eaten in no time.

Maddie felt very special and enjoyed her time with Dad. Now, I need to find time to paint her nails.

A Key to Conflict Resolution

Throughout the years, I have seen, and been a part of, a great deal of conflict. As an attorney, I deal with conflict on a daily basis. While this conflict takes many forms, I deal with marital conflict more than anything. When I am involved, the conflict usually has escalated to the point that at least one of the parties’ wants a divorce. As a deacon for many years, I have dealt with a lot of church conflict.

Whenever people are around other people, there is bound to be conflict. We are all sinners. We are selfish. Everyone has different wants and desires. Most conflict is generally resolved. People resolve their differences and move on. Often, relationships are stronger because of the conflict. Unfortunately, some conflict is so severe that it is never resolved and destroys relationships. With such conflict, marriages are torn apart and churches are divided.

When such severe conflict exists, I have noticed that one party usually believes the other party has evil motives. They believe the person is “out to get them” or wants to destroy them. In a church context, they believe the other person is trying to take over the church or take away someone’s rights. Such conflict is extremely difficult to resolve because the parties do not trust each other. They assume the worst in the other person. They will not give the benefit of the doubt to the other person.

On the other hand, when people are able to resolve conflict, they usually give the benefit of the doubt to the other person. They acknowledge that there is a conflict but believe the other person has a good heart. They trust that the other person has good motives; they are just misguided at that moment.

My observations were recently confirmed. In an article on Townhall.com, Rebecca Haglin wrote that two marriage-killing habits are criticism and pessimism. She refers to a study that found “the happiest marriages reflect an overall positive attitude about the goodness of the other person and the marriage itself – even as the couple works to resolve conflicts.” (Emphasis added). Haglin continued, “[N]ewlyweds who maintained an idealized view of the other person, putting the best gloss on their attributes and behavior, were happier after three years than less idealistic couples.” (Emphasis added). According to psychologist Garth Fletcher, “Positive biases and happiness seem to push each other along.” Hagelin concludes, “[T]hose who persist in presuming the best about their spouse, and who maintain a forgiving attitude and optimism about the future relationship, actually create a better marriage for themselves.” (Emphasis added).

For a happier marriage, we should assume our spouse has a good heart. Give them the benefit of the doubt. In all conflict, presume there is good in the other person. Do not assume the other person has evil motives or is out to get you. By making this fundamental change in our thinking, we can resolve conflict and have happier marriages.

Father - Son Camping

In today’s culture, it is hard to raise a godly man. Our culture confuses the genders. Boys have few role models. Dads spend little time with their young men. One of my tools for helping Matthew grow into godly man is a father/son camping trip. Each summer, the two of us go away for a weekend camping trip. We sleep in a tent. So far, every camp ground we have chosen did not have electricity. We plan meals. We engage in great adventures.

We just completed this year’s adventure. We chose to go to Tobyhanna State Park in the Poconos. Prior to leaving, I realized we would drive near Lehigh University, the training center for the Philadelphia Eagles. As a kid, I remember going to West Chester University and watching Dick Vermeil’s Eagles practice. I knew Matthew would “flip out” at the chance to go. A week before the trip, I asked if he wanted to go to practice. He answered with a resounding “YES!!!” While practice begins at 8:05 a.m., the gates open at 7:00 a.m. Not liking crowds, I wanted to get there at 7:00 a.m. We got out of bed at 4:30 a.m. and were on the road at 5:00 a.m. We made the obligatory Wawa stop for ice (for the cooler), tea, and newspaper. While in our Eagles gear at Wawa at 5:15 a.m., a man asked, “Are you going to Lehigh?” With a large smile, Matthew answered, “Yeah!” although he was trying to figure out how the man knew we were going to training camp.

We arrived a little before 7:00 a.m. and waited in line. Upon entering the practice area, we saw a Playzone for kids. Matthew was the only one there for a long time. He ran through an inflatable football field with inflatable football players. He leaped over obstacles and scored imaginary touchdowns. He climbed a large inflatable slide and slid down. He threw passes to cut-outs of DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Macklin. After several tries, he completed a touchdown to each. He kicked last second field goals to win games. He had a blast.

As players walked onto the field, we stood by a fence. Vick and the other quarterbacks worked out a few yards from us. We watched the offensive linemen work out. We heard the new defensive line coach yelling from 60 yards away. We watched the defensive backs, including DRC and Asomugha, go through drills. Minutes later, real practice began when the defensive and offense lined up opposite of each other and went at it. Asomugha, in his first practice, picked off a pass. The crowd roared as Vick scrambled for a huge gain. The new kicker looked good. The new punter, not so good. Practice ended and we moved on towards Tobyhanna.

In addition to camping, I was interested in doing something adventurous. We saw a billboard for a zip line and decided to give it a try. We arrived at Camelback for their 1,000 foot zip line. After getting our harnesses, we climbed the hill to the top of the zip line. They hooked our lines up. We peered over the edge. We held our breaths and jumped. Side by side, we zoomed down the line. After getting disconnected, we climbed the hill again for a second ride. While standing on the deck, my wife called to see if we were safe. I responded, “Right now we are, but I will have to let you know in a few minutes; we are about to jump off of a cliff.” She wasn’t expecting that answer. Again, we held our breaths and jumped. It seemed like we went even faster this time. In Matthew’s words, it was “awesome”.

Finally, we made it to camp and set up our tent and campsite. Prior to dinner, we went for a 5 mile bike ride around the lake. We grilled some BBQ ribs for dinner. Matthew ate an entire rack by himself. For Matthew, the hit of the afternoon was playing with the new machete. Matthew started the fire, with a little help from me. We made banana boats by splitting a banana in half, filling it with marshmallow, nuts, and chocolate chips; pushing the peal back together; wrapping them in foil; and cooking them in coals. DELICIOUS. We concluded dessert by making s’mores. We finished the evening by lying in our sleeping backs and watching a DVD about the Cardinals winning the 2006 World Series.

The next morning, we ate bacon, eggs, and hash browns. Then, we attacked the day’s highlight, our adventure bike hike. We took our bikes and rode out of the campground onto trails in the woods. Riding over upraised tree roots and large rocks, our bikes got knocked all over the trail. At times, the numerous rocks and steep climbs made it impossible to ride, so we walked until we could ride again. We crossed a rickety bridge. We road through narrow paths between thorn bushes, scraping our hands and arms on the thorns. Then, we passed under some power lines. But, that was a problem. We were not supposed to pass under any power lines. We pulled out our map and discovered we made a wrong turn. Miles out of our way, we regained hope when we realized we could follow the power lines northwest toward a road that would take us to our destination. Under the power lines was a nice gravel path with wild flowers growing. It made for a nice ride. We followed the power lines up and down hills enjoying this unexpected adventure. Then, the power lines turned left and the gravel path disappeared. Only a narrow rock filled bath remained. It was similar to the trails we followed in the woods, so we persevered. We climbed and followed the narrow path for a while. Then, the path disappeared as huge bogs of mud appeared. With very little room, we shuffled our feet on less muddy, but brush covered ground while we kept our balance by pushing our bikes through the mud. The mud almost appeared to be like quicksand. In one of the bogs, the front wheel of Matthew’s bike began to disappear as it sank into the bog. We quickly pulled the bike out and continued, undaunted. Finally, we cleared the bogs and the gravel path re-appeared. We were on our way again, flying over the hills as we peddled under the power lines. We reached the top of a hill and could see the road at the bottom of the hill. We flew down the hill anticipating the road we were chasing. Without warning, the path ended about 200 yards from the road. A swamp blocked our path. Disappointed but undeterred, we turned right to cut through some woods were no one has gone before. We pushed through uncleared woods as we circled around the swamp. We climbed one last hill and found the road. As we mounted our bikes for a ride to our destination for lunch, I saw my front inner tube bulging out of a hole in my front tire. Not knowing how long we could ride, we pressed on. About half a mile later, “pop”, my tire blew. Now, we were back on foot, miles from camp. We walked a mile when I flagged down a pick-up truck. The driver was a nice guy who put our bikes in the bed and drove us to our camp site.

As we arrived at camp, it started raining. This was not a surprise as the forecast said there was a possibility of scattered, passing thunderstorms. We ate lunch and waited for the rain to pass. We finished our lunch and waited for the rain to pass. We called home and waited for the rain to pass. We went to Wal-Mart for more camping gear while we waited for the rain to pass. We returned to camp and waited for the rain to pass. Tired of being wet, we went to Pizza Hut, where we saw 20 other campers, and waited for the rain to pass. We returned to camp and waited for the rain to pass. Trying to find some good in this wet situation, we decided to pop some popcorn, get in the car, sit in the reclining leather seats and watch Spiderman 2 while the sound pulsated through the Bose sound system. After two hours, the movie ended, but the rain didn’t. We went to bed very damp. In the middle of the night, after 13 straight hours, the rain finally stopped. Too wet to do anything, we cleaned up camp and left for home, stopping at Perkins for breakfast.

We made many memories. We spent a lot of time together. More importantly, we had many conversations about becoming a godly man, handling issues facing a young boy, standing up to peer pressure and doing right regardless of what others are doing. I look forward to more time with my son. More importantly, I look forward to helping my boy becoming a godly man.

Lesson’s From Camping’s Judgment Day

By now, everyone knows that Harold Camping was wrong and the world did not end on May 21, 2011. Many had a good laugh. I saw Facebook posts about people being in heaven and heard people talking about leaving clothes out so it appeared they were raptured. While there is nothing wrong with having a little fun, I think we can learn some lessons from this event.

Primarily, I think most people, including Christians who believe Christ will return, did not really want the rapture to occur on May 21^st. I heard people say, "I am glad we are all still here." Most are glad it did not occur because no one wanted Camping to be right and believed that Christ would not return on the predicted date because "No one knows." Matthew 24:36.

But, it goes much deeper. Most of us, me included, enjoy our life on earth and did not really want the rapture to take place. We claim the rapture could take place at any time (except on May 21, 2011, because Camping said so), but, inwardly, we really are not looking forward to it. Even with the ups and downs of life, most of us still like our lives. We really are not looking forward to going to heaven.

Paul's view of life stands in contrast to ours. In Philippians 1:21-23, Paul says, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. . . . My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." Paul knows that the next life is "far better". He desires to be in heaven and with Christ. Just think about it. If Christ raptures us, we will immediately be with Him. We will be with Christ. What an incredible moment. Mercy Me, in their song "I Can Only Imagine", captures some of the awesome anticipation of being with Christ. The best of this life pales in comparison to being with Christ. When we consider our life on earth with being in the presence of Christ, the preference is simple; we should all choose the presence of Christ. But, deep down inside, we don't get that excited because we enjoy our life too much. I think we need to reassess our perspective and have a greater anticipation of Christ's return.

In addition, we need to truly anticipate Christ's imminent return. Let me ask you a question, "If you truly believed that Camping was right and the world was ending on May 21, 2011, what would you have done on May 20^th?" I heard that some of Camping's followers enjoyed what they thought were life's final moments; they bought cars they could not afford or took final, extravagant vacations. However, most of Camping's ardent followers made every effort to help people get right with God. Some spent their life savings on advertisements; others even sold their homes to raise money for the effort. These followers made incredible sacrifices because they believe the world was ending. If you truly believe Christ could return at any moment, what are you doing? Are your efforts to save people commensurate with a belief that Christ really could come at any minute? Probably not. Paul, in that same passage, wrote, "If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me." (Philippians 1:22). Is your life in the flesh fruitful? On one hand, we need to be prudent and make future plans on earth in case Christ does not return tomorrow. On the other hand, if we truly believe Christ could return at any moment, we probably need to make more of an effort to bring people to Christ.

Unfortunately, the Camping fiasco damaged the reputation of Christ around the world. To many, Camping and the Bible are a joke. How do you explain the Bible's plan for salvation when Camping claimed the same Bible said the world would end on May 21^st? For many, the Bible lost all credibility. Let's overcome some of the negative by learning some lessons from this fiasco. Let's look forward to Christ's return and try to take some people with us.

Lessons Learned From Boston Rob

 

Boston Rob, on his 4^th attempt, won Survivor. In order to win, he played, according to Jeff Probst, a nearly perfect game. He created and maintained the strongest alliance ever seen on Survivor. Julie, a contestant that was not in his alliance, was amazed at the control he had of his alliance. According to her, his alliance would not even talk to other contestants. They would continually checked in with Rob and told him everything that was happening. Even Rob remarked that no one should have this much power. Jeff Probst called his alliance "almost cult-like".

The obvious question during the reunion show was, "How did you do it?" As the show progressed, keys to his strategy were revealed. In simple terms, he developed great relationships. To begin with, Rob knew that, as a returning player, he would be a target for early elimination. He felt that if he could build some relationships and show people that he could help them, such as building shelter, then he had a chance to stick around. The key was building the relationships. Andrea, a member of his alliance, said that he built individual relationships with each of them, he had a different relationship with each person, and he spent time with her for no reason.

Another member of the alliance, Philip, was one of the strangest contestants to ever be on the show. He was very difficult to get along with and nearly every person could not wait to vote him out. However, Rob befriended Philip, kept him around, voted out other people, and eventually used Philip to win $1 million. Jeff asked Rob what he saw in Philip. Rob said that Philip is a lovable guy; you just have to listen to him and his story. According to Rob, Philip is one of twelve children, so he has spent his whole life trying to get attention. You need to imagine his story and understand where he is coming from. Rob summarized his strategy with Philip by explaining that if he just showed Philip love, Philip will be loyal.

These lessons should be applied to everyday life. We need to show love and develop relationships with people. Do we treat each person special, like we really care about them? Do we spend time with them? You cannot develop relationships without spending time together. We should serve people and help them. We need to choose to love even unlovable people. We need to understand their story and show them love.

While I wish Boston Rob would get rid of his Red Sox hat, he is a likeable guy who saw the importance of relationships, won Survivor, and taught us some life lessons in the process.

John Maxwell’s Five Levels of Leadership

 

On May 6, 2011, I had the privilege of attending the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast, which is an annual event where some of the world's best writers and speakers present a daylong seminar on leadership. The event is presented live in Atlanta and is carried throughout the world via webcast. I attended the event through the Kingdom Chamber of Commerce at Burlington County College.

 

The first speaker, John Maxwell spoke on the five levels of leadership, which is the subject of his next book. Initially, he taught that leadership is influence. Ultimately, a leader influences people. In the past, I have heard him say that if you think you are a leader and no is following you, then you are just on a walk.

 

According to Maxwell, the first level, and the lowest level, of leadership is the "Position Level". At this level, people follow because a person holds a title. This does not make the person a good leader. Instead, people follow because of obligation or authority. Under this type of leadership, the followers generally give the least amount of effort. They do not necessarily believe in the leader or the leadership, so they are not motivated to give their best. They tend to do the bare minimum.

 

"Permission" is the second level. At this level, people want to follow and generally like the leader. Relationships are the key to this level. Such leaders listen to their followers, observe their followers, learn from their followers, and have an attitude of service. Because people have given the leader permission to lead, they give more effort in their work.

 

"Production" is the third level. At this level, the leader is able to produce significantly more than at prior levels. The key is results. This leader produces more because he is a producer and better workers are attracted to, and want to produce more for, this leader. Followers see this leader producing, so they imitate him and produce more. At this point, momentum is created, which gets people excited and they do more. This momentum and excite can even salve problems that cannot be solved at lower levels. In explaining the importance of leadership, Maxwell explained that a train parked with a brick under its wheel will not be able to move past the brick. However, that same train, moving full speed, can crash through a brick wall.

 

"People Development" is the fourth level. This leader grows his organization by growing his people. He makes his people better. Then he puts his "better" people in positions where they are most effective. The steps for this level are (a) recruiting well, (b) positioning well, (c) equipping well, (d) the people produce, and (e) the people build other people (multiplication). Simply, you need to get the best people, put them in the right position, and equip them. Then they will do the work and multiply. This level is similar to some of the concepts taught by Jim Collins in Good To Great, where he talks about getting the right people on the bus and putting them in the right seat. Essentially, better people create a better organization.

 

"Pinnacle" is the fifth, and final, level. At this point, follow out of respect. The leader leads so well, for so long, that people want to follow the leader. This level takes years to obtain. I saw it as almost a legacy or a life-time achievement.

 

In evaluating your leadership level, Maxwell explained that you can be at different levels with different people. Someone may follow you because of your position or title; another person may give permission, while another follows as a result of people development.

 

It is good to hear these leadership principles and apply them to my work, family, and church. I need to remember that relationships are important and I need to help develop the people around me. I will be successful, as a business man, husband, father, and Christian, when the people around me become better.