Children Are Taking Notes in Church?

I’m in church with my children.  The two 9 year olds are singing and enjoying the service.  Then, the Pastor begins to preach.  I’m taking notes and trying to learn.  But, the kids lose interest.  They get fidgety.  On a good day, they quietly doodle while waiting for church to end.  They are hanging on me.  They are distracting.  There should be a better way.

I want to raise children who actually love God and have a relationship with Him.  I don’t want them to just go through the motions.  I don’t want them to attend church just to please me or because that’s what good Christians are supposed to do.  I want them to enjoy church and enjoy growing in their relationship with God.  This isn’t working.  There should be a better way.

I look at my notes.  I look at them.  Then, it comes to me.  Why can’t they take notes?  Note taking will force them to pay attention.  It will get them to be engaged.  It will keep them involved and, hopefully, interested.  It will help us talk about the message while we eat lunch.

I get them to take notes.  I’m surprised.  They are actually doing it.  I think they are even enjoying it.  Sometimes, I laugh at the content.  My daughter’s writes, “Pastor likes pot roast with his chicken parmesan.”  Other times, I can see that they are really getting it.  Her note says, “Jesus is the main attraction.”  They’re asking me questions about the sermon.  My son runs out of space in the bulletin and asks for more paper.  He requests a notebook.  I’m pleased.  They are getting it.  Church is becoming more than just some boring thing that Christians have to do.  They are involved, learning, and enjoying it.   

I want to seize this opportunity and spread it to other children.  Now, at my church, I give candy to any child who takes notes during the service.  On the first week, the kids come with their notes.  I give out candy.  They smile.  I don’t plan to read their notes, but some want me to read what they wrote.  It’s exciting to see.  Parents are pleased and thanking me.

Many adults of all ages tell me it’s a great idea.  I appreciate their thoughts.  But, I wonder, “Do they take notes?”  If note taking is a good idea for children, then it should also be a good idea for adults.  Why would a child want to takes notes if their parents don’t take notes?  Personally, it helps me learn and remember the message.  It keeps me engaged in the service.  My mind is more active. 

You should give note taking a try and suggest it to your kids.  If you need some motivation, come see me after the service and I’ll give you some candy.

Praying for the Most Important Miracle

On December 12, 2013, God granted me a miracle.  Those who follow my blog or facebook posts know that, out of the blue, the State of New Jersey returned our four year old foster daughter after she had been removed for ten months.  This was nothing short of a miracle and I give God all the praise and glory for performing the miracle.

I believe that God wants Christians to live a life of faith, which requires that we undertake bold acts for Him that will only succeed if God provides.  Our service as foster parents is one example of a life of faith. 

If we are going to live a life of faith, then we are going to have to depend on God and ask that He perform miracles.  We cannot do it ourselves.

I asked God to return our foster daughter to us.  I did not like the fact that He allowed her to be removed.  I did not like the fact that it took ten months for Him to grant the miracle.  But, He provided the miracle in His time.  Praise God.

After he granted that miracle, I started praying for another miracle (I think God wants us to pray for miracles.  It shows we are living by faith and are depending on Him).  I prayed, and am continuing to pray, that the natural mother of our four foster children will surrender the children and allow us to adopt them.  All four foster children have the same mother; they have different fathers who are not involved in their lives.  The older three children were removed from their mother 42 months ago and the younger one has been in our house since leaving the hospital after his birth.  Despite all of this time, the natural mother is still trying to have the children returned to her and she sees the children weekly.  At this point, it appears there will be a trial to determine whether the children will return to her or whether her parental rights are terminated and the children can be adopted.  If there is a trial, I do not know how it will turn out. 

I believe it is in the best interests of the children if we adopt them.  So, I am praying for a miracle.  I am praying that the mother, even after 42 months of battle, will surrender the children and we will be able to adopt them.

While I have been praying for this miracle, I realized that my miracle is not the most important request.  The most important issue for this family is their salvation.  While I pray for the children, for their adoption, and for their salvation, I have not diligently prayed for the mother’s salvation.  If God grants my miracle, I will adopt the four children and they will accept Him as their Savior (the oldest one has already done this), but the mother may never accept Jesus as her Savior.  No matter how much earthly help I can give the children, the reality is that it is an insignificant benefit if they spend eternity apart from God.  The best thing that I can give to any of these people is Jesus Christ.  Now, I am praying for a more important miracle – the salvation of their mother. 

I’m still praying that she will surrender the children, but her salvation is the more important request.

BOOK REVIEW: David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

With books like Outliers, Tipping Point, and Blink, Malcolm Gladwell has become one of the more popular writers in the last few years.  When I saw the Kindle version of his latest book, David and Goliath, on sale, I bought it looking forward to his insights with, hopefully, a biblical perspective.  Unfortunately, after reading it, I was disappointed.  While he tells some interesting stories, he misses the point of David’s victory over Goliath and demonstrates a lack of moral judgment, which undermines the overall book.

Gladwell’s premise, drawn from the story of David and Goliath, is that we misunderstand power and advantages.  Often things that appear powerful have significant weaknesses that make them beatable.  Similarly, advantages often have significant disadvantages.  On the other hand, what can appear to be a weakness or disadvantage can be turned into strength or advantage.

Gladwell begins with David’s victory over Goliath and claims, “All these years, we’ve been telling these stories wrong.”  In his telling of the story, Goliath only appears to be a powerful giant.  Instead, he has significant weaknesses that David exploited.  For example, Goliath was armed for hand to hand combat; he was not prepared to battle a “slinger” (someone using a slingshot).  Since Goliath was so large, he probably had a physical disability, “acromegaly”, which causes vision disability.  His vision problems prohibited him from recognizing that David was attacking with him a sling.  Consequently, according to Gladwell, David’s victory is completely explainable in human, not supernatural, terms. 

Gladwell completely ignores the presence of God in the story.  While it is possible for people to overcome strong enemies and disadvantages, that is not the focus of the biblical account of David and Goliath.  When King Saul tells David that he cannot defeat the giant, David responds, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Samuel 17:37).  When Saul sent David to battle, Saul says, “Go, and the Lord be with you!” (1 Samuel 17:37).  Clearly, David won the battle, not because he “outsmarted” Goliath or exposed Goliath’s human weaknesses, because of the presence and power of God.  Gladwell completely misses this point.

In addition, Gladwell demonstrates no moral judgment.  For example, in one chapter, he explains how some people overcome disadvantages, such as dyslexia.  However, in overcoming their disadvantages, they often resort to sinful acts.  Gladwell summarizes, “They bluffed their way into professions that would have been closed to them.”  This “bluffing” included lying and deceit, which are sins.  Nevertheless, Gladwell justifies their actions, “What they did is not ‘right,’ just as it is not ‘right’ to send children up against police dogs [he tells a story of civil rights leaders purposefully baiting police into using dogs against children in order to gain a propaganda advantage in the battle for civil rights].  But we need to remember that our definition of what is right is, often as not, simply the way that people in positions of privilege close the door on those on the outside” (emphasis added).  According to Gladwell, there are no moral absolutes.  Rather, morality is used to control power.  So, it is okay to change the morals in order change power.  This is wrong and is not biblical.  Such thinking is dangerous.

Disturbingly, some Christian book reviews failed to fully identify these weaknesses.  A couple of reviewers identified Gladwell’s weaknesses in the story of David and Goliath, but they failed to fully understood the significance of Gladwell’s misinterpretation.  One reviewer wrote that Gladwell’s approach “neglects the key aspects of David’s triumph.”  Another reviewer noted that Gladwell “ignores the obvious divine empowerment behind David.”  But, neither seem to express this as a major problem.  However, neither reviewer noted any of Gladwell’s moral problems, which should have been pointed out.

Notwithstanding these problems, Gladwell tells some interesting stories and makes some interesting points.  However, even his good points are overstated.  Just because one or two people have defeated a giant or overcome a disadvantage does not mean that everyone can use the same strategy to defeat a giant or that the disadvantage is really an advantage.  The book was mediocre.  It wasn't terrible because it had some redeeming traits (good stories and interesting points), but it had too many weaknesses to be considered good or great.

REFLECTIONS ON 2013

In many ways, 2013 was a very tough year and was dominated by the foster children.  The highlight of the year occurred in February when D accepted Jesus as his Savior.  While there a several reasons to be a foster parent, we primarily want the kids to become children of God.  Now, we get the privilege of making him a disciple.  While being a foster parent can be very difficult at times, we see real fruit from our effort.  Regardless of what happens with the foster children, I know that all of the work has been worth it because D will spend eternity in heaven.  Now, we pray that we will be able to continue to raise the other foster children and that they will accept Jesus as their Savior.

            Just a few weeks later, our year hit a low point, when the State took B away from us.  She had lived with us since she was nine months old, for a total of two and half years.  This devastated us.  The State attacked us and tried to take the three foster boys from us.  The Law Guardians, the attorneys for the children, battled the State and were able to keep the boys with us.  But, despite their efforts, the State would not relent with B and they would not return her to us.  The efforts to get B, and the devastation of losing her, dominated the year.

            On December 12, God performed a miracle.  Prior to that date, the State decided to move B to a new home because she was having behavioral problems and her new foster family no longer wanted her.  During the afternoon on the 12^th, B had been taken to the hospital because her doctor thought she may have pneumonia.  Even though she did not have pneumonia, the State decided to change her foster home.  Without our knowledge, the Law Guardians heard of the move, and made an emergency application to a Judge to have her placed our home.  At about 4:45 p.m., out of the blue, the caseworker called and asked us if we could pick up B at the hospital.  Immediately, my wife and I wept for joy.  We praise God for her return.  We don’t know how long she, or her brothers, will be with us.  So, we will daily take care of them.

            I achieved some of my goals for the year.  For example, I read 18 books.  I lost 28 pounds and now weigh 170 pounds.  I started running again; I ran three 5K races and the Broad Street Run.  I increased my speed and endurance to the point where I have run 7.5 miles in less than 60 minutes (less than an 8 minute per mile pace).  I bought a second refrigerator for my wife.

            Some goals were not met.  I did not memorize all the bible verses that I wanted that I had planned.  I did not get my house painted.  I blogged some, but not as much as I wanted to.  I guess these will re-appear on this year’s list of goals.

            I did something unexpected.  I wrote two books.  I never anticipated writing a book but was challenged, by my daughter Alyson, to write 100 words a day for 100 days.  The books are aimed at a 4 to 6 grade audience and are about 3 boys who solve mysteries.  Growing up, I loved reading Hardy Boy books, so I wrote a book that I would have liked to read when I was that age – lots of action, danger, and mystery.  I read the first book to my children and they loved it.  I had so much fun with the first book that I wrote a sequel and am getting ready to read the second book to the kids.

            While I learned a lot this year, I am learning and appreciating God’s care and protection.  In January, we were driving our 12 passenger van to Ohio during a snow storm.  While on the Interstate, the back end of the van slid around, I lost control, and the van turned about 300 degrees.  It was scary, but God protected us.  We did not hit anything.  We did not end up in a ditch.  No one hit us.  We were able to continue driving and arrive at our destination. 

            A few days ago, my brother and his family were traveling on the Pennsylvania turnpike.  Suddenly, a “white out” occurred and nearly 40 vehicles, including a propane truck, collided.  A truck rear ended my brother’s car.  Another car ended upon on the hood.  They walked away, unharmed.  God protected them. 

            God’s protection is more appreciated when I see that life is fragile.  A few weeks ago, I was parked on a street waiting for two of my children to come out of youth group, cross the street, and get in my car.  While I waited, a boy crossed the street and put his guitar in his mom’s car, which was two cars ahead of mine.  He remembered that he left his bag in the building.  As he returned across the street, about 20 feet ahead of me, he was hit by a car and dragged 100 feet.  I stood with my kids as EMT desperately tended to him and he was taken to a hospital.  A couple of hours later, we learned that he died.  We tend to live our lives thinking that we, and our kids, are reasonably safe.  The reality is that life is fragile.  When I realize this fact, I become more appreciative of God’s protection.

Calorie Counter

I am skeptical of calorie counting.  I understand the premise, but doubt the practicality.

The premise makes sense. To lose weight, you must burn more calories than you consume.  Numerous programs will tell you how many calories a person of your weight and gender should consume.  Simply count your calories, make sure you eat less than you are supposed to eat.  Then you will lose weight.

I skeptical because I don't know how to figure out how many calories I actually consume.  Some things are simple.  I eat some instant oatmeal for breakfast and the box says the packet is 130 calories.  I eat a can of soup for lunch and the can says it is 200 calories.  The problem is that most items are not so easy.  When I eat pizza for lunch at the local restaurant, I don't know how many calories are in it.  It's kind of hard to check a chart.  There are too many variables such as the size of the slice and ingredients.  Harder yet is dinner.  My wife makes great succulent dinners but there are numerous ingredients in them.  How many calories are there?  Plus, how much am I eating?  I don't know.  Therefore, the calorie counting does not work.

At the beginning of the year, I decided to lose 25 pounds.  I ate smaller portions, less desserts, and less snacking, combined with a return to running.  Initially, I made progress.  Within three months, I lost 15 pounds.

But then the weight lose stalled.  For months, I stayed the same weight.  The good news - I was not gaining weight.  The bad news - I was not losing any more weight.  I remained 10 pounds short of my goal.

Last week, my wife talked me into trying a calorie counting app.  For many foods, I can scan the bar code and it calculates the calories.  I can review the ingredients, scan them, and estimate how much I am eating.  It figures out the calories.  If there is no bar code, like for my pizza, it searches a database and I can choose a close match.  The app keeps track of how many calories I am allowed to eat, how many I have eaten, and how many I have left for the day.  If I run, I tell it how many calories I ran and it adjusts my allowable intake. 

In many ways, it seems easy and it may work.  But, I am still skeptical.  Does it work?

I have only been using for one week, so I don't know for sure.  But, in one week, I have lost 3 pounds.  I finally got past the 15 pound mark.  Despite my skepticism, I think I will keep using the calorie counter . . . At least for a while.

Harmonious Living

With eight or nine people living in our house, including a two year old, a four year old, and two nine year olds, there is a lot of conflict in our house.  As a parent, I am always trying to douse a fire and maintain peace.

This Sunday, our pastor, Vince MacDonald, preached from 1 Peter 3:8.  The first few words jumped off the page.  "All of you, be harmonious" (NASB).  This is what I want my kids to get.  Of course, I can probably use some of it too, especially after a long day at work or dealing with unruly kids.

So, how do we live harmoniously? 

I equate it with some other concepts I have been trying to instill in my children, such as "peacemaking" and simply getting along with each other.  To do this, they should often just ignore the behavior of someone else.  "He is calling me names," one child yells.  "He's taking my toy," another accuses.  "She's singing too loud," someone complains.  Yes, the child who is hitting, taking toys, singing too loud,  or whatever is wrong.  But, you can still make peace and get along.  How?  By ignoring it.  Just ignore them and do something else.  It's not that big of a deal.  Just let it go.  Plus, once you ignore them, they will get tired of calling you names, playing with your toy, and singing loudly.

I had a chance to live this out the other night and I used it as an example for my children.  We were at a rodeo and our seats were behind a fence.  I wanted some good action pictures, but could not get them because of the fence.  So, I moved up above the fence.  I carefully chose my spot between some bleachers; I would not obstruct someone's view.  After taking a few shots, another photographer stepped right in front of me.  He rudely got in my way and the way of other people.

This guy is rude.  He's a jerk.  I was here first.  I am the polite guy; I'm not in anyone's way.  I have the right to be here and he should get out of my way.  I could nicely approach him and ask him to move.  If I am nice, he might get out of my way.  He may also continue to be a jerk and cause a scene. 

But, I can be a peacemaker.  I can choose peace.  I simply walked down the path to another section.  I stood between the bleachers and took my pictures.  No reason to confront the jerk.  No reason to risk a scene.  Just move.  That is peacemaking.

Often, we just need to forget about our rights, or being right, and just ignore a problem.  Be a big enough person to solve it without conflict.  Make peace.  This is what I am trying to teach my children.  If I can learn it too, then we all might be peacemakers and live harmoniously.  After all, blessed are the peacemakers.

Struggles since losing our Foster Daughter

            Three years ago, God asked our family to care for two children who were “essentially” orphans.  We were carrying out God’s command of caring for orphans.  On August 23, 2010, He sent a 19 month old boy and his sister, a 9 month old girl who weighed only 14 pounds.  The little girl, B, was near death because she had not been fed.  Emotionally, she was dead.  She did not smile, laugh, or cry.  She could sit up only if she was propped up.  She did not crawl or roll around.  After weeks of caring for her, she grew tremendously.  On Christmas, when she was 13 months old, she started walking.  Today, she is a very healthy young girl.  She is incredibly intelligent.  She shows great emotions, often smiling and laughing.  She has great gross and fine motor skills.  If you saw her, you would never know of her condition when she was 9 months old.

            The social workers continually told us that we were doing a great job raising these children.  In fact, they were so pleased that, when the natural mother gave birth to another child in July, 2011, they sent the baby to our home from the hospital.  When their older brother, who is now nine years old, had difficulties in his foster home, they moved him into our home.  They obtained special waivers in order to place two additional children in our home.  They wanted us to adopt all four children.

            Then, something happened.  The social workers decided to remove all of the children, claiming they had medical concerns about B.  When I asked about the medical concerns, they could not identify one treating doctor that had concerns or identify one medical problem.  In reality, all doctors were thrilled with her condition while in our care.

Initially, they removed B, with plans to remove her brothers.  The children have attorneys, called Law Guardians, who represent the children’s interests.  Practically speaking, Law Guardians almost always support the actions of the State.  In an unprecedented manner, these Law Guardians opposed the State and sought to keep the boys with us and have B returned to us. 

           

            For several months, legal battles raged.  About two weeks ago, the Law Guardians decided to stop fighting.  As a result, the State agreed to allow the boys to stay with us.  But, B has been sent to another home and we may never see her again.

            I am devastated and very sad.  We were doing God’s work of caring for orphans.  This girl needed us.  We were going to adopt her.  Raising these kids has been extremely difficult; we wanted to quit on numerous occasions.  But, we never quit.  We showed faith and perseverance.  How could God let this happen?  I wrote down some of my thoughts, such as the following:

• God really let us down.
• I prayed a lot.  Many friends from around the world prayed.  This was not a selfish prayer.  This was a prayer for an orphan.  God is supposed to grant this request.  He gave a lousy answer.
• How can God take B away from us when we nursed her back to life?
• Will B ever accept Jesus as her Savior?
• I am sure B feels we abandoned her.  I don't want to be the guy who abandoned her.
• I have talked, and even preached, about living a life of faith and doing great/hard things for God.  We did this.  We sacrificed a lot to live this life of faith.  Now, God does this.  I feel like God just threw it in my face.
• After what God has allowed to happen, why would I want to serve Him anymore?
• God could have stopped this.  It is easy for Him, but He did nothing.

Some of these thoughts are pretty blunt, but they are how I have felt the last two weeks.  I will not abandon my faith, but I can understand how someone could.

            A few years ago, I was interested in reading Phil Vischer’s book, Me, Myself, and Bob.  He is the creator of Veggietales and he lost his company in a bankruptcy (it is a long story).  I saw the e-book on sale at Amazon.  I bought it and read it in two days.  Interestingly, we have some similar thoughts and feelings, such as:

• “I knew that the company and ministry I had built in 12 years of often exasperating work was on the verge of disintegrating – collapsing right before my eyes.  Most perplexingly, I knew that God knew it, too. . . He knew how hard we had worked.  He knew how far we had come.  And it appeared, from where I sat, that he was going to do nothing to help us” (emphasis added).
• “What I wrestled with . . was the fact that God could have saved Big Idea Productions. . . . He can do anything.  But he didn’t” (emphasis added).
• “it wouldn’t have taken much effort.  Especially for God.  He could have easily done it, and it would have saved Big Idea.  But he didn’t.”
• “What confused me so deeply is that I knew he saw me fall, and I knew he had the capacity to catch me – to prevent my accident from happening.  Yet he didn’t.  He just stood there, watching me tumble down the stairs.  What kind of God would do that?” (emphasis added).

At the end of the book Vischer talks about a pastor who saw his dream die and suffered debilitating physical problems.  The Pastor thought, “If this is what it’s like to work for you, I’m not sure I can do it anymore.”  I can relate to this thought.

            The Pastor taught about the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4.  She serves God and Elisha.  She is childless and God gives her a son.  Then the boy dies.  He writes, “What is the point of all that?  I mean, why put the poor woman though that exercise?”  Again, I can relate.  Finally, the Pastor said, “If God gives you a dream, and the dream comes to life and God shows up in it, and then the dream dies, it may be that God wants to see what is more important to you – the dream or him” (emphasis added).

            This experience and these feelings are still new to me, so I am not done processing everything.  Right now, I understand a few things:

• If God wants to know what is more important, B or Him, I will choose God.  He is the most important.
• I think it is okay to be sad that B is gone.
• While God inexplicably took B away, He still wants me to raise the three boys.  I will do the best I can at raising the three boys.
• I also have four natural born children.  I will do the best I can to raise them.
• God will take care of B.  While I care about her, I can do nothing for her.  It is God’s responsibility.  In reality, it was always His responsibility, even when she lived with me.  I am just his instrument.