Thursday, May 9, 2013

Date Night With 4 Year Old

It is hard to raise boys into men.  Our culture encourages gender confusion.  To combat this, I try to teach my boys how to be men.  One thing is to teach them how to care for their wife.  Primarily, I do this by example.  But, I also find ways to teach them to treat her special.  I help them make special moments for Mom, which I hope they will do for their wives.  Tonight, I took Christian, our 4 year old, on a date with Mom.
For starters, I had him dress up.  He wore a dress shirt with a tie.  The tie was too long, but it did not matter.  He was dressed up for Mom.  Dressing up for our woman is special.
We planned to take her to the bookstore for tea.  Before we got there, we had something special to do, so we told Mom we would meet her there.  On the way to the bookstore, we bought Mom flowers.  He learned to treat a date special and that flowers are special for girls.
When we arrived, we saw Mom's minivan.  Christian was excited that she was already there.  He carried the flowers.  Upon seeing her, he ran with a big smile and gave the flowers to her. 
With my direction, he asked her what she wanted to drink.  We went to the counter.  I wanted him to order.  He could not remember the order, so I told him what to say. He repeated the order.  I wanted him to pay.  I gave him the money, he handed it to the cashier, and he kept the change.  He learned that the man makes the effort to get the food and that the man pays.  This makes her feel special.
We sat at the table.  He ate a chocolate chip cookie, drank chocolate milk, and made a mess.  I cleaned him up.  Then, he wanted to play with the trains in the children's section.  This was not exactly what I wanted him to do because the date should be fun and special for the girl.  He did not get the unselfishness part of the date.  Maybe he will understand next time.
Recently, I heard someone explain that a way to help young boys is to encourage them to be a hero.  After all, every young boy wants to be a hero.  While walking out of the store with the flowers, I told Christian he would be Mom's superhero.  He likes Spiderman.  I told him he would be like
Spiderman, only his powers would be flower power.  He objected, "I don't want to be Mom's hero.  I want to be her friend."  Well, so much for the hero part.
Overall, it was a good early step for him to turn into a man.  We learned to treat women special.  Dressing up for them is special.  Giving them flowers is special.  Getting their food is special.  Paying for the food is even more special.  These things are special, but, according to him, do not make him a hero.  I pray that some day he will be a friend and hero to a special woman.

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